Anita has a grown-up son and daughter-in-law - let's call them Mark and Lydia - and together they have two little kids. Sadly, ever since the first child came along, Anita has been slowly but surely shut out from the family - just when she was ready to be a doting grandma.
Anita used to have a good relationship with both her son and daughter in law, but as soon as the first baby came, something changed. Her gifts were rejected, they started closing her out of family gatherings like birthday celebrations, started giving her the cold shoulder when she dropped around to visit, and cancelling lans to get together. It's now at the point where Anita has had to seek Legal Aid for permission to visit, and has to ring ahead weeks in advance to book in a visit to her own son and grandchildren.
Anita puts the situation down to two things: firstly, because Lydia seems to be calling the shots in the marriage, and secondly, because of cultural differences. Lydia is from an ethnic background and her large extended family seems to be excluding Anita just because she is Anglo-Saxon and not part of their culture. They hold big family gatherings with lots of traditional food and customs, but apparently hut out anyone who doesn't share their background and traditions. Anita once asked Lydia why they don't include her, and she simply said, "It's just tradition".
Anita used to have a really warm and open relationship with her son; now he's cold towards her and hangs up on her if she calls. He is also doing the same thing with his own brother.
What can Anita do? Call your advice in this Sunday evening or leave your thoughts below now.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do? Anita will be grateful for any ideas you have.
Comments (1)
I was listening last night to this situation and my mum and I have experienced a similar situation with my brother and his wife. They don't have children, but have been married for 20 years and she has never included us in any family gatherings. She doesn't even extend the common courtesy of a an occasional call or a thank you for a gift and doesn't like my brother spending too much time with us.
The reason for my comment is that I disagreed with your expert when she brought out the fact 'that a man must cleave to his wife'. Yes - that is true but it also says 'honour your mother and father that all may go well with you'. I believe there is no excuse for what is poor behaviour and certainly does not exhibit Christ-like qualities. I believe the 'cleaving to the wife' scripture should be in the context of 'always giving your parents honour' also and to leave this out distorts the message a little, I believe.
BTW, love the show and listen every Sunday night.
Posted by Diana | July 12, 2010 10:09 AM
Posted on July 12, 2010 10:09