Parenting programs are not new. Super Nanny, Brat Camp and others have offered television viewers tips and tricks for the family's resident bad boy, or girl.

The thing I find most curious about this series is its shifting perspective in relation to blame. The parents of these teens invariably describe their situations in terms that make it very clear that their children are the architects of their unhappy family lives. They have reasoned, rewarded and restricted - in short they have 'tried everything' - all to no avail. Their children are not like other progeny; they are unmanageable. This is the position that every episode begins from.

However as the show continues, and the teens are committed to the care of 'the world's strictest parents' the viewer sees a transformation take place. The general model is that the structure and consequences introduced by these stand-in parents results in a changed character. The levels of transformation vary from week to week but the implied lesson is the same: the right person can make a difference.

Almost imperceptibly, the blame shifts. By the end of the episode it is clear that the teens are not unmanageable; it is the parents who have failed to manage them correctly. Varying elements that are added to the storyline to manage this conclusion - mum is a single parent; dad is overworked; the troubled teen has always been closed off - but the blame settles in the home because the results are undeniable. And the program confirms their inadequacy

I'd like to be charitable at this point. I don't think it's fair to hold parents solely accountable, for all of the reasons alluded to and more. Most importantly, I think that their teens are reasoning human beings who the Bible says are accountable for their actions. Does that excuse the parents for their role in producing these petty tyrants? Not at all. I think the production is on to something in the way it insinuates blame, it just doesn't go far enough.
The corollary to living in a world where people can make a difference to theirs or others' circumstances is that someone is that everyone who has had a part to play will bear some of the responsibility should things not work out.

The World's Strictest Parents is actually a game show on which the audience is invited to reward parents and children with varying amounts of blame. There is even the side-line competition of being be able to decide just how crazy that week's stand-in parents' are. The only person whose parenting doesn't come into consideration is the viewer's - and that's the unfortunate part.

When my wife and I decided to become parents, endless hours of conversation were taken up discussing just what sort of mum and dad we'd like to be. Invariably I reflected on my own father and I decided that there were some things I certainly wouldn't do. One boy arrived, then another, and as I write we await the arrival of our third. It didn't take me long to realise that for all of his perceived faults, there were some bigger picture things my father did (daily Bible studies; reserved family time) which I would like to emulate. As the years progressed I came to admire those big things more and more because even his little things (communal meals; afternoon play) were deceptively hard to achieve. Eight years on and it is my fervent prayer that I'll be able to manage half of what he carried off. The actual experience of trying to be a good parent has made me uncomfortable sitting in judgement on anyone. When my wife and I see parenting going wrong these days, we don't criticise, we pray - for ourselves as much as for those involved in the observed struggle.

Programs like The World's Strictest Parents are appealing because they lift us into God's seat, encouraging us to pass judgement on the participants. But our perspectives are sadly limited, particularly where our own lives are concerned. I would shudder to think what such a series would make of my home - would I be the failure crying for help or the lunatic cavalry? The truth is, I'm probably both. Parents who sympathise with me will realise we need more help than the odd tip or trick that can be picked up from a weekly program.

We need the sort of parent figure to look up to that only God can provide. One who has never lost his cool in the face of outrageous behaviour, stormed off in a huff or disciplined unfairly. One who teaches patience to saints and whose love is as constant and unchanging as the rising sun. Most importantly, one who restores the repentant without the slightest hint of 'I told you so', and leads people on to happiness and fulfilment they would have forfeited forever left to themselves. It is no wonder that when Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray, he began by telling them they should call their God 'Father'.